Adding Fuel to the Fire.

Why must people add fuel to the fire in some situations? I wish I knew. Getting mad over something that's out of your control is no point in wasting good energy over, but getting upset when people BS with you that's something different. I don't care for liars, I don't like being lied to. I think it's disrespectful in some ways and why lie in the first place? I was brought up thinking a mans a mans a man. And it's so true, yes you have those one in a million but deep down they're still a guy.

In life you live and learn, live in the moment learn from your mistakes. This week I saw someones true colors, and in the end everything made sense. A guy is willing to BS to anyone to cover up his tracks, to look like he's not a jackass and to seem like he really is something different and not like all others, when in the end they're far more worse. Like some say, there are millions of fish in the sea... many similarities and better looking. I see it as honesty is a better way to go, yes people may get hurt but the truth comes out eventually, why not the truth the first time? I would rather be told the truth than find out later it was all covered to save your own behind. I would actually respect a person a lot more for having the guts to tell the truth and how they're feeling rather than doing the complete opposite.

On to the next story... marriage. I know I've talked about not wanting to get married any time soon etc. etc. and someday I'd love to. Brent brought up us getting married again and  it has me thinking... can I really get married at my age now? Am I ready? Is this what I want? I go back and forth, realistically I'm not ready to get married at age twenty(soon to be twenty-one.) Realistically... I'm not ready to make that next step yet... and realistically, yes it is what I want. My advice for myself is to get married after experiencing life, so far I've been experiencing life with him and not being married has made it just as fun as if we were married. Age does but it doesn't matter in my book, if that makes any sense. And I do want to marry him someday, but what happens when I leave and he's smitten by someone else out of the blue? Or myself for that matter? What I've come to learn so far is life throws all sorts of things in your way, it's either going to be something worth catching or missing.

ByeBye Hair.

I'm the type of person who figures, something new coming to life might as well make a wee bit dramatic change... For example, I'm moving to New Mexico which implies new change in the environment, new job, new experience, heck might as well have new hair while I'm at it.
I get my hair trimmed often to keep it healthy. I'm really anal at times you can say when it comes to my hair and skin. *laughs* I cut my hair pretty short a few months ago, now it's back to the same length when I got it done. So now I want something completely different, I already have a hastle at times putting effort in doing my hair daily, so I'm going to cut that in half(hopefully) and cut it off. Originally I was planning on something like Jessica Simpson's hair. Dramatic with a point.

Then yesterday Brent and I were in Borders(one of my favorite stores) just browsing away and then I see Lily! Lily Allen on the cover of Elle from UK of course. I absolutely adore her, her music her style, she's simple and she stands her grounds which is awesome in an artist. Anyways, her hair is short. I haven't cut my hair that short in a LONG time if at all. I decided right then and there that was the haircut for me. It's the change I was looking for. So coming Friday, goodbye to my long hair. =/

Kudos to my Step Mom!

Most people hear the words "step mom" and think of Cinderella and her wicked step mother. Not me. I have the best step mom in the world. Lets take it back a few years now... Yes I do come from a family with divorced parents and there's nothing wrong with that.
I was 9 years old I believe when my dad started dating Trish. I remember meeting her and her having long curly strawberry blonde hair and being so friendly. She always did her best with my brother and me. It's not easy marrying someone who has children from a previous marriage, you have to give her props. She was awesome though, taking us swimming, always wanting to do stuff with us rather than throw us out of the picture like you see in movies. Nothing like that at all. She and my dad have been married for eleven years and still going strong. With two kids of their own, we have a wonderful family I must say. It's funny though, being a five year difference with them she knows how to keep my dad in check. *laughs*
My parents were young when they started a family, heck my mom was nineteen when she had me. My dad's matured and has grown up a lot since being with Trish. She's a strong person and I love her very much. It's cute, my dad built her her own salon in the back yard, so she works from home doing hair and spends time with the kids. Being her age not even fifty yet, she looks like she hasn't aged a bit.

Short End of the Stick.

Talk about having writers block. I feel like I've had so many things to write about these past few days and when it comes to putting it all out there... nada. Go figure.
On another note, I really did get the short end of the stick when it comes to my family and talents. I was talking to my mom the other day and going through pictures and listening to her tell me stories about when she was a kid(which never gets old.) I can't even draw a stick figure, my singing is terrible, I only sing in front of Brent (bless his soul for bearing it.) That's as far as my talent goes.It goes all the way to when my grandparents were young. Looking back at all the pictures, my great grandfather was a talented musician. My grandma and all her sisters and brother played instruments. Not just something here and there, they were an actual band. Pretty fascinating huh?
My grandma played the drums and to this day she knows how to jam. Then my mom and her siblings have talent like no other. My mom and aunt have pipes like you couldn't believe. When they sing you can't help but go in awe. My uncle though has talent that people dream about having. He's creative, very very artistic, so smart, plays music like no other. He's doing so great, now he's living his dream one day at a time.
Then my family comes into the picture. Being the oldest out of five, you'd think I'd pick up something over the years... again... nothing. My brother is athletic, playing sports was his thing, very good too. Then the younger kids come into the picture, Jacob has the brains, you meet this kid and can't help but think how he's going to someday find a cure for an illness, or make a difference to wildlife. He has a bunny, fish, reptiles I can't even think about it grosses me out so much, a cat and now just recently a turtle. How my step mom keeps the house spotless is beyond me. And the others are imaginative, both love to dance, I'm very blessed to be apart of such a talented family. But where did it go wrong with me? *Laughs* Or maybe I'm a talented artist with a creative side who's in the making? Perhaps? Look at Loretta Lynn for example, she learned to play guitar later on when she was already married with kids.

One Thing At A Time.

Things are finally looking up, and I feel like I'm so close to being on top of the world.
First things first, I've decided to go back to school, but instead of going on campus, online is more for me. I know what I want to do in life, and that's why I've decided to take courses working in that area specifically. I'm going to be an event and wedding planner. Doing much research there's two schools particular that I am interested in. Talking to the advisors and getting a good vibe and reading about the courses, I want to make sure I get the best of learning everything that there is to learn. So, if you're getting married in the long run, I'm your planner! =) *laughs*

Second thing, moving out of state. This is something I know deep down I have to do, because as much as I hate to admit, I don't want to look back and say "what if" instead I've decided to be the person to say "I did it." I love the ocean and everything it has to offer, but I'm taking a turn and testing the desert out for a little bit. There's a whole world out there, I'd at least like to see bits and pieces of it as much as possible.

And last but not least, I don't say goodbyes anymore. I'll see you is more my style. Goodbye means a farewell, saying goodbye to people makes it more sad and real. Not in my book, there's too many sad endings and I want to change it to something else now.

My Weakness.

Those of you who know of or shopped at Nordstrom knows that it's one of the best places to shop. =) I fell in love with Nordy's this summer and will definitely continue shopping there. Brent teased me every time I came home from work the first thing he'd say "what'd you buy today?" *laughs*

Goodbye Washington...

I'm moving out of Washington! What will happen now who knows, getting everything situated, the dates are undecided to when I'll leave but I'm ready. The other day Brent and I went to the beach and I told him that I was 100% moving, which didn't pan out too well. In the end he said he wouldn't allow it and I felt so sad thinking about leaving everything we had shared together behind. He insisted we get married right away and that would make me stay. Not entirely sure if that was a marriage proposal, but we jokingly laughed it off... I personally don't want to get married anymore. I could be in a relationship for years and years and be okay with just that. As long as I'm happy I'm good. I've grown up more these past few months and I feel like I need to be selfish. I need to focus on me, my needs and wants because it's always been others who came first.

I know deep down Brent will date again, realistically it's the truth. If I do too, great but I know I'm not going to jump into another relationship, that's silly and not smart on my end. Brent is starting his own business and I'm so proud of him, he's doing what he's really good at, all on his own and every week it gets better and better. Putting time and effort, I feel needs his full attention and I will always be there for him no matter what. Now it's my turn to start doing what I love...