Adding Fuel to the Fire.

Why must people add fuel to the fire in some situations? I wish I knew. Getting mad over something that's out of your control is no point in wasting good energy over, but getting upset when people BS with you that's something different. I don't care for liars, I don't like being lied to. I think it's disrespectful in some ways and why lie in the first place? I was brought up thinking a mans a mans a man. And it's so true, yes you have those one in a million but deep down they're still a guy.

In life you live and learn, live in the moment learn from your mistakes. This week I saw someones true colors, and in the end everything made sense. A guy is willing to BS to anyone to cover up his tracks, to look like he's not a jackass and to seem like he really is something different and not like all others, when in the end they're far more worse. Like some say, there are millions of fish in the sea... many similarities and better looking. I see it as honesty is a better way to go, yes people may get hurt but the truth comes out eventually, why not the truth the first time? I would rather be told the truth than find out later it was all covered to save your own behind. I would actually respect a person a lot more for having the guts to tell the truth and how they're feeling rather than doing the complete opposite.

On to the next story... marriage. I know I've talked about not wanting to get married any time soon etc. etc. and someday I'd love to. Brent brought up us getting married again and  it has me thinking... can I really get married at my age now? Am I ready? Is this what I want? I go back and forth, realistically I'm not ready to get married at age twenty(soon to be twenty-one.) Realistically... I'm not ready to make that next step yet... and realistically, yes it is what I want. My advice for myself is to get married after experiencing life, so far I've been experiencing life with him and not being married has made it just as fun as if we were married. Age does but it doesn't matter in my book, if that makes any sense. And I do want to marry him someday, but what happens when I leave and he's smitten by someone else out of the blue? Or myself for that matter? What I've come to learn so far is life throws all sorts of things in your way, it's either going to be something worth catching or missing.

ByeBye Hair.

I'm the type of person who figures, something new coming to life might as well make a wee bit dramatic change... For example, I'm moving to New Mexico which implies new change in the environment, new job, new experience, heck might as well have new hair while I'm at it.
I get my hair trimmed often to keep it healthy. I'm really anal at times you can say when it comes to my hair and skin. *laughs* I cut my hair pretty short a few months ago, now it's back to the same length when I got it done. So now I want something completely different, I already have a hastle at times putting effort in doing my hair daily, so I'm going to cut that in half(hopefully) and cut it off. Originally I was planning on something like Jessica Simpson's hair. Dramatic with a point.

Then yesterday Brent and I were in Borders(one of my favorite stores) just browsing away and then I see Lily! Lily Allen on the cover of Elle from UK of course. I absolutely adore her, her music her style, she's simple and she stands her grounds which is awesome in an artist. Anyways, her hair is short. I haven't cut my hair that short in a LONG time if at all. I decided right then and there that was the haircut for me. It's the change I was looking for. So coming Friday, goodbye to my long hair. =/

Kudos to my Step Mom!

Most people hear the words "step mom" and think of Cinderella and her wicked step mother. Not me. I have the best step mom in the world. Lets take it back a few years now... Yes I do come from a family with divorced parents and there's nothing wrong with that.
I was 9 years old I believe when my dad started dating Trish. I remember meeting her and her having long curly strawberry blonde hair and being so friendly. She always did her best with my brother and me. It's not easy marrying someone who has children from a previous marriage, you have to give her props. She was awesome though, taking us swimming, always wanting to do stuff with us rather than throw us out of the picture like you see in movies. Nothing like that at all. She and my dad have been married for eleven years and still going strong. With two kids of their own, we have a wonderful family I must say. It's funny though, being a five year difference with them she knows how to keep my dad in check. *laughs*
My parents were young when they started a family, heck my mom was nineteen when she had me. My dad's matured and has grown up a lot since being with Trish. She's a strong person and I love her very much. It's cute, my dad built her her own salon in the back yard, so she works from home doing hair and spends time with the kids. Being her age not even fifty yet, she looks like she hasn't aged a bit.

Short End of the Stick.

Talk about having writers block. I feel like I've had so many things to write about these past few days and when it comes to putting it all out there... nada. Go figure.
On another note, I really did get the short end of the stick when it comes to my family and talents. I was talking to my mom the other day and going through pictures and listening to her tell me stories about when she was a kid(which never gets old.) I can't even draw a stick figure, my singing is terrible, I only sing in front of Brent (bless his soul for bearing it.) That's as far as my talent goes.It goes all the way to when my grandparents were young. Looking back at all the pictures, my great grandfather was a talented musician. My grandma and all her sisters and brother played instruments. Not just something here and there, they were an actual band. Pretty fascinating huh?
My grandma played the drums and to this day she knows how to jam. Then my mom and her siblings have talent like no other. My mom and aunt have pipes like you couldn't believe. When they sing you can't help but go in awe. My uncle though has talent that people dream about having. He's creative, very very artistic, so smart, plays music like no other. He's doing so great, now he's living his dream one day at a time.
Then my family comes into the picture. Being the oldest out of five, you'd think I'd pick up something over the years... again... nothing. My brother is athletic, playing sports was his thing, very good too. Then the younger kids come into the picture, Jacob has the brains, you meet this kid and can't help but think how he's going to someday find a cure for an illness, or make a difference to wildlife. He has a bunny, fish, reptiles I can't even think about it grosses me out so much, a cat and now just recently a turtle. How my step mom keeps the house spotless is beyond me. And the others are imaginative, both love to dance, I'm very blessed to be apart of such a talented family. But where did it go wrong with me? *Laughs* Or maybe I'm a talented artist with a creative side who's in the making? Perhaps? Look at Loretta Lynn for example, she learned to play guitar later on when she was already married with kids.

One Thing At A Time.

Things are finally looking up, and I feel like I'm so close to being on top of the world.
First things first, I've decided to go back to school, but instead of going on campus, online is more for me. I know what I want to do in life, and that's why I've decided to take courses working in that area specifically. I'm going to be an event and wedding planner. Doing much research there's two schools particular that I am interested in. Talking to the advisors and getting a good vibe and reading about the courses, I want to make sure I get the best of learning everything that there is to learn. So, if you're getting married in the long run, I'm your planner! =) *laughs*

Second thing, moving out of state. This is something I know deep down I have to do, because as much as I hate to admit, I don't want to look back and say "what if" instead I've decided to be the person to say "I did it." I love the ocean and everything it has to offer, but I'm taking a turn and testing the desert out for a little bit. There's a whole world out there, I'd at least like to see bits and pieces of it as much as possible.

And last but not least, I don't say goodbyes anymore. I'll see you is more my style. Goodbye means a farewell, saying goodbye to people makes it more sad and real. Not in my book, there's too many sad endings and I want to change it to something else now.

My Weakness.

Those of you who know of or shopped at Nordstrom knows that it's one of the best places to shop. =) I fell in love with Nordy's this summer and will definitely continue shopping there. Brent teased me every time I came home from work the first thing he'd say "what'd you buy today?" *laughs*

Goodbye Washington...

I'm moving out of Washington! What will happen now who knows, getting everything situated, the dates are undecided to when I'll leave but I'm ready. The other day Brent and I went to the beach and I told him that I was 100% moving, which didn't pan out too well. In the end he said he wouldn't allow it and I felt so sad thinking about leaving everything we had shared together behind. He insisted we get married right away and that would make me stay. Not entirely sure if that was a marriage proposal, but we jokingly laughed it off... I personally don't want to get married anymore. I could be in a relationship for years and years and be okay with just that. As long as I'm happy I'm good. I've grown up more these past few months and I feel like I need to be selfish. I need to focus on me, my needs and wants because it's always been others who came first.

I know deep down Brent will date again, realistically it's the truth. If I do too, great but I know I'm not going to jump into another relationship, that's silly and not smart on my end. Brent is starting his own business and I'm so proud of him, he's doing what he's really good at, all on his own and every week it gets better and better. Putting time and effort, I feel needs his full attention and I will always be there for him no matter what. Now it's my turn to start doing what I love...

Hot Hot Hot.

Recently I was introduced to hot yoga and water aerobics and fell in love. I don't always have the time to go to the gym and get all my workouts done, as much as I try, it is hard. I have taken up classes and its more fun than actually going to the gym if I don't say so myself. I do hot yoga three times a week, and water aerobics twice a week. I don't have to worry about making sure I workout this part of my body or that part or getting the timing down, and I wasn't enjoying the gym anymore. Now, I go for an hour to get away, let all the hectic stress out, and have me time. Not to mention the workout can get intense but that's what's so great about it, and believe me it get's hot. So no complaints here. =)

4th of July.

This year was something else. Originally Brent and I talked about spending the fourth in Seattle because he's never been before, but with traffic and what not... not so much. Overall we spent the holiday with my amazing family! Both sides might I add. We drove to Camano for the evening, having dinner with my step moms family which was awesome. We all walked to the beach, had great food, almost got lost *laughs* but that's just me. We left just in time for Lake Stevens with my moms side of the family. Everyone was having a blast, and some passed out from drinking too much which was priceless( Ness and Pheneas.) The fireworks were beautiful, the whole neighborhood was all in on the action. Great times with good people.

Number 3.

I was sixteen when I got tattoos and now I'm ready for number tres. The first one is on my ankle of a hibiscus flower which is one of my favorite flowers out there, the second is for my eyes only area, something more personal. This one is a small half tribal heart and someone else has the other half and when together it obviously makes a full heart, I love this tattoo and have no regrets of either one. Now to the third, I want a cross. Nothing too ridiculous but again something for me. One of my biggest loves in my life is God, he's guided me through the toughest times over the years growing up, and regardless of how cliche a cross is I think it's a beautiful thing.

On To The Next.

Time goes by so quickly, it has been one year since Brent and I got our own place together. Boy let me tell you, it has been quite the adventure, for the both of us. But one adventure I wouldn't trade for the world. Looking back at some unforgettable memories and memories that are still making good stories today. *laughs* A house turned into a home being the two story with 3 bedrooms, 3 baths, the downstairs being pretty spacious, and a great back yard. The fireplace where all the S' Mores have been made, the kitchen where all the dinners Brent had cooked( he does 99.9% of all cooking,) and our bedroom where all our love was made. All this coming to an end, not wanting to sign another lease for many legitimate reasons though. I'm ready to move forward and see what's next in my book. Lord knows I have not a clue, but that's the beauty of it.

- Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift.

Best Wishes.

June 5th was a beautiful day, a beautiful day for a wedding that is! I got to be apart of that important day that every girl dreams about. The wedding was small with friends and family, nothing extravagant, just two people in love who couldn't wait to spend the rest of their lives together. It was romantic. Best wishes to the newly weds!

Something New.

About a month ago I got my hair done, doing something a little different for me. I contemplated on cutting the hair, but decided medium length was the way to go... for now. =) I have naturally black hair, now don't get me wrong, I love my dark hair, but decided to add a little color... So I got peek a boo highlights. LOVE LOVE LOVE it! The gal who did it was awesome, who happened to be my boyfriends dads girlfriends sons wife, in other words, pretty much Brent's sister in law. Anyways she got the color down, the layers everything was awesome. Some may ask, what the heck are peek a boo highlights? They're highlights that are in certain areas, and the reason being, because I do have dark hair and don't want to damage it, I figured these would be a lot easier to maintain. I love how they turned out and will have pictures up shortly.

True Colors.

In a matter of a friendship, peoples true colors start to show. You see the real person they are, and not the friend you once knew. I have a small handful of friends that are absolutely amazing! We're all different, which means there's never a dull moment. You think you know somebody and in the end it was all a lie. Friends really do come and go, but the real friends stick by your side.

One day at a time.

There are no endings, only new beginnings.

What this quote means to me is that there's always going to be a new chapter in my book when something comes to an end. For some it could be graduating, getting a job, getting laid off, moving etc. Currently in my life I am experiencing a couple obstacles, nothing too extreme but at the same time it is(if that makes any sense.) To make a long story short, I am surprisingly okay with everything. I'm not overwhelmed of what ifs? But simply taking a deep breath and going one day at a time to looking for something new, and possibly something different. Hmm, the way life works is so interesting, but makes complete sense in the end. As Bertha would say "On to the next, on to the next, on to the next." *Laughs*

Russell.

Those of you who know me, I love to laugh. I laugh about the littlest things, the dumbest things you get the idea. So of course when I found out Russell Brand was coming to Seattle I knew it would be something worth going to.

For those of you who don't know or ever heard of Russell, you're missing out. He is one of my favorite comedians. He was in the film "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" who played Sarah's new boyfriend (definitely recommend watching it). Anyways, he was in town and was HILarious! Everything he talked about you couldn't help but laugh. I couldn't help but realize... He is SO flexible. *laughs* Being in skinny jeans and lifting your leg that high... damn. To top everything off, he brought JONAH HILL out on stage. Who is one of my secret celebrity crushes. Everything was fanfuckintastic! =)

Quote Of The Day.

This is one of my favorite movies and now I'm reading the book. One of my favorite quotes from this author is "One day can change your life. One day can ruin your life. All life really is is three or four big days that change everything." The movie is definitely worth watching, and you'll most likely cry, but it's one of my favorites. Not to mention Drew Barrymore rocked at playing this part.

Ugly At Heart.

Respect is a word that not everyone has in their vocabulary. Nor is goals, or even honesty. I am someone who will treat you with the same respect that I would want to recieve back. Lord knows I have my goals I work at every day for, and most importantly, I'm honest. I'm honest with myself, and to others.

It still amazes me how people today can be so... so... so ugly. People who get mad over thee littlest things, and make it seem as if the world were coming to an end, should be embarrassed. For example, you can see a difference in those who grew up wealthy rather than those who have earned their wealth. People who grow up in that lifestyle are used to having everything being given to them rather than someone who knows what it's like to struggle. Not always, but now days it's more common.Where I am trying to get at, is that I think people are wasting their energy in getting mad over things that have no meaning or things they can't change. Why not put that energy into some importance? There are people who think they can go through life treating others as if they are a nobody. But what if that nobody later became a somebody and treated you with the same attitude? Not only is that energy being wasted, but you age quicker when you're mad. I know I'm not going to look like a grandma by the time I'm forty. What about yourself, can you say that same?

Today, I helped a woman who was rude, who had zero repsect for those around her, and quite frankly I wanted to smack the crap out of. BUT... I was raised better than that. I was raised to be repsectful, and to kill people with kindness. As much as she deserved to get told off, I smiled with not an ounce of rudeness and prayed for her. I prayed for God to help such a bitter person. And by the time I moved on to help the next person, she will always be the w for whore. The end.

Favorites.

A few of my favorite things to do...

- Make breakfast in the morning with Bertha, man do we know how to cook up a meal. haha
- Go to the beach. It's my favorite place to be.
- Write "to do" lists. For some reason I have to write a list of what needs to be done, what I have to do etc.
- Laughing! It's good for the soul =)
- Antiquing!
- Taking naps. Oh boy, I will take naps everyday if I could.
- Baking. I love to bake now whether it cookies, cakes etc. I no longer eat the goods, but give them away.
- More to come.

Weight Watchers Part 2.

Weight watchers so far is going well. I like how it works and even lost a couple pounds. One day at a time. This time I'm committed to something that actually works.

I think today girls struggle with weight and appearence making it their top priority. I was one of those girls in high school. Now, here in the present it's not my top priority anymore. It's important to me yes, but I don't look in the mirror comparing myself to woman who are are smaller than me, or watching my weight every day. I no longer anaylize every minor detail on what I can do to change the way I look. I can truthfully say, to society I am a plus size girl. I heard recently, that women who are size 9 or 10 are considered *plus size* which is crazy. The majority of women in America are well above a size 9 or 10. I am comfortable with my body for the first time in years. I struggled with weight all through out high school, but in the last year or two I was tired. Mentally and physically exhausted from putting almost all my focus on how I looked. I hated shopping, and now I love it. There's so much I want to say about this subject, but at the same time I'm not prepared to write every single detail. Not yet, I need more time. *Laughs*

My Cousins.

My cousin is something else, and I mean that in a nice way heh. He was up here visiting and it's like he's never even left. For some reason, he has this brilliant idea to go to Seattle's burger place that's famous. Red mill I think, anyhow, it's on the top 20 list of burgers to eat before you die. His reaction says it all:

If you couldn't tell he's sometimes dramatic with expressions but that's what makes him him. I wanted to add videos of all of us with random memories but I have not a clue, and I am not a tech savvy person.
                                                  This was originally dated in late 2009.

My Randoms.

It's late and I can't sleep, perhaps it was the coffee I drank before I left work?... Not a good idea. Anyhow, Spring is here and I'm loving every moment of it. I'm Finally getting around to going back and finishing my drafts, all eleven of them and that's on one page itself. Maybe this is what I needed, an all nighter just recaping my previous blogs that disappeared in my posts.

Not to mention I need to go to shopaholics anonymous. For some reason I'm getting clothes left and right, okay not that bad, but still. I absolutley LOVE online shopping. *Laughs* I'm so new at shopping online, and it all began with my Victoria's Secret browse, which turned into purchasing one dress, a week later another... Oye. But I would wear dresses all year long if I could, on top of leggings.

It's funny to think about the present. What's going on in my life today. Everymorning I wake up and don't regret a thing. Am I going to regret the choices I've made if I decide to move or not? The past is the past, I've learned to forgive but never forget, and I've learned to move forward. The future though, the future is what sometimes scares me, and I'll admit that. Then the majority of the time, the future is something I sometimes plan for, and then I find myself going away from the plans and doing something completely and utterly different. I know I may not make any sense, but bloody hell, it's me writing about my random, interesting hectic life. Which never seems to have a dull moment. *Laughing again*

Another thing, what I love doing to just get away for a while( mentally), staying in and having a glass a wine and relaxing. Relaxing from the chaos I guess you can say. I feel old just saying it, but I think the girls at work have rubbed off on me.

Ending on a finer note, the boyfriend and I have been debating on adding a third party to our *family/ group* what ever you want to call it. No it's not a baby( not in the books for us) but a puppy. =) I'm super excited. We're not jumping to actions JUST yet, but we're getting around to talking about it. Which is a step for us. We'll see what happens, just one day at a time.

What A Lesson.

Everyone knows my boyfriend is rebuilding a truck. Well tonight he asked if I wanted a lesson on welding. I was a little skeptical at first, but gave in. He's always going with me to my functions, and doesn't complain too much, okay that's a lie but he still goes along. I owed it to him for me to participate in something he likes to do. It was fun actually. I don't know if it was the part of me messing up over and over, or him touching up the parts I didn't do too well on. Overall we shared some laughs. *Smiles* He says I pulled the grease look off and how hot I was in his welding gear( which were the gloves and hat.) He would say that. Although I'm not a certified welder, my lesson was definitely one of a kind, something classes would never teach. *Laughs* (And I mean that in a non dirty way)

Moving?

This subject has me tossing and turning. I don't even know where to begin. There is a possability that I may be moving out of Washington and into New Mexico for a good year or so. A part of me feels that being twenty, not married, no kids can move a lot easier being than if I were older, I was married, or if I did have children. The point being, I feel like I need to move to New Mexico to help my family, to grow up a little more, to experience life in general. I love my life here in Washington, my family is here, my friends are here, the love of my life is here... I feel that I need to do this for me. But then again, this change can impact my life in so many ways...

For starters, what about my relationship with Brent? I love him so much! But I need to do this for me. Neither of us believe in long distance relationships, but to let eachother go like that, it would hurt me, but devastate him. So what do I do world? Stay to live a happy life with someone so amazing? Or... do I go out and live the unknown? Not knowing what's going to happen? Only time will tell...

Evergreen State?

Or Land of Enchantment?

Him.

His name is Brent. He is a pain in the ass 99% of the time, and always has something to say. Whether it's an observation, a random comment or something about his truck. No matter what he's feeling, you'll know. We click when we're together. That's how we've always been. He's honest with me, tells me when I'm being a pain in the ass and isn't affraid to hurt my feelings. At the same time, he tells me the little things I do drive him crazy, but he can't help but love it. For example, my singing in the shower, as off key as I am, he listens. Or the fact how I have old lady feet that are always cold!! (No joke) Every night in bed he warms them up right next to his, making me laugh every time. =) This guy is not like any other guy and I can say that knowing it's true.

We've seen each other at our worst and best. Every morning I get a message saying "have a good day" or " I love you" and those little messages lets me know how lucky I am. *Smiles* I just wanted to write a little something about someone who makes me smile and laugh everyday. A lot has gone on these past few weeks, even months and whatever the furture holds for us, whether it's friends, or staying in a relationship I know we'll always be a part of eachothers lives.

The Big Apple.

My birthday is in October and I'm planning to do something memorable. I figured might as well go big for the big 21 so of course, the big apple. It makes perfect sense, what better way to celebrate turning 21 somewhere completely different other than Vegas. Vegas will always be Sin City, don't get me wrong Vegas is exciting, but why not do something out of the ordinary? It seems that Vegas is THE place to go, but so is New York. Not to mention how much I love the place. I'm excited and can't wait, the trip is already in the works! =)

Not forgetting, I already bought my outfit too. *laughs* From Victoria's Secret, I found thee perfect dress. I absolutely fell in love with it! Don't worry I'm going to spice it up with some shoes, but I love it because it's sexy with a little bit of class.

Something So Small Can Go So Far.

I love helping people. Ever since high school, I've always been that person someone can just talk to and feel better afterwards. Someone who can vent, and I'll listen. Sometimes the best thing a person can do is just listen. It's another trait I picked up from my mom. Growing up, seeing the lives she's touched from her being such a great friend, and person in general. I know I wanted to follow her footsteps and I did. I think people are put in eachothers lives for a reason. To impact them in any way shape or form. Whether it's to put a smile on someones face, or making another laugh. Little things like that can make just the littlest difference.

Tonight, a good friend started talking to me. About what was going on in his life, how he was feeling about different obstacles he's recently faced. Hearing his thoughts, I just listened to what he had to say. I talked to him about everything that was going wrong in his life, and by the end of the conversation, he felt like a little bit of weight was lifted off his shoulders. Just doing something that small for someone is such a huge acheivement.

I am so blessed to be the person I am today, thanks to those who've impacted my life. Every little memory, every little laugh, every little cry made me who I am today and I'm still growing.   

Technology Now Days.

I remember the commercials in the 90's about how amazing it was to have caller ID. Now days, people rarley use home phones, instead they have cell phones. I'm not a tech savvy person, for example I'm the person who still prefers writing letters via mail, not through the web. Anyways, I did this thing for my blog where you can see who looks at your profile page. The coolest thing to know people through out the world, are reading my posts. Whether it be Washington, New York, Arizona, Europe etc. Technology is so crazy sometimes, but I'm slowly learning things here and there. *Laughs* Pretty shnazy.

Wonders.

Do you ever use products on a daily or regular basis? To where you'd be nothing without it, or how much you love the wonders it does? I know I do. These are a few products that do wonders for me personally...

Redken: Does miracles to my hair. Super soft.

Crest Premium White Strips: Use about once a year, but improves a brighter smile =)

LipBalm: Keeping lips soft is big. Especially if you have someone to kiss everyday.

Aloette: I love love love this product. Everyone says proactive this and that, but Aloette is amazing! This really does wonders to your skin.

Bare Minerals: I personally have rosie cheeks, for example sometimes one side is more pink than the other. Bare minerals is one of the few products out there, that I've seen balance my skin tone.

Mints: You don't have to worry about throwing your gum away *laughs* and you have fresh breath for a longer period.

Valentine's Day.

One of my favorite days to celebrate... Valentine's Day! This is the day to spend time with the ones you love or your significant other, and I simply did just that. I woke up in a not so happy mood, but for good reasons. But as the morning went by, this was not the day to bicker at each other. We spent the majority of the morning/ day in bed. Sleeping, laughing, telling stories, more sleeping and just cuddling. We finally got up and got ready, but decided to stay in. He surprised me with a big romantic dinner with a movie. It was the cutest thing. We don't get to sit down at the table and make dinner with each other because of our busy schedules. I'm a simple gal, I'm somewhat easy to please. The littlest things mean the most to me, and those little things he did made my whole day.

Getting Older.

I feel so old! *Laughs* My cousin turned 24 today, freaking 24! It was not too long ago when we were walking to the playground together or coming home from school watching TRL or Family Matters. I'm 21 in October and it was just yesterday I graduated. All I know is that I cherish every moment I have with family. They mean the world to me, and are a big part of my life and who I am today. So many memories so many stories. Her birthday dinner was awesome, to have everyone there especially my brother Derrick. It's nice to get together like that and just laugh and laugh and not to mention eating good food. Best Wishes Hun!

Let's not forget about the love of my life. He will always have a part of my heart, no matter what happens. 

& on a personal note, I don't even mind the beard. =)

All At Once.

For a few weeks now, I've had writers block. So many things running through my mind, but when it came time to write about them, nothing.. nada.. zip. I think now I can just let everything out, well, almost everything.

- January was an interesting month for me, running into people from high school, especially the ones I never thought in a million years to see, at least not like that. If I could go back, I would have liked it to be a little different, rather than how it was. Being caught off gaurd you imagine running into certain people and invisioning everything to be completely standard. The usual " Hi, how are you?" phrase, or " How's life" etc. Whether it's with the cute boy, or someone from class, or even an old friend. But in reality, it either turns out good, or not so good. Everything happens so quickly and when things go a little off track you think about what the heck just happened, laugh about it and go on with your day.

- Then, that week I decide to cut my bangs rather than my hair. I wanted a new look, and I needed it fast. So being impatient, I did it in the spur of the moment. I see it as hair is hair. It will always grow back so might as well experiment with different looks and ideas while you can. But in my honest opinion, bangs aren't for me.

- Besides that, my relationship has been on the rocks. Maybe it's my fault, or his, or maybe no one is to blame, either way there's a lot of things that need to be worked on in order for us to work. We've been together for so long, and throughout the years people change. He's still the same big kid I fell in love with, for me I know I've changed but for the best. Perhaps that's why it's been tough because he's in love with the old me. Or maybe I just grew up and he's not my number one priority anymore. I'll admit it, he's not. I love him so much, but I have more focus in my work, and going back to school. Last year we got back together after many months of he said she said etc. but never had closure from before. We got back together because we were still madly in love. I don't regret any of it. Things happen for a reason, it all makes sense in the end. If we end up making things work, that would be amazing because he is a great person. If we end up going our own ways, I know we'll have closure and I'm okay with that. We are on different pages but this isn't the first time, only time will tell...

- Lately, I need a vacation. Just to get away from all the chaos. It just amazes me, people who are so negative, or only think about themselves when there are more important things to life. Work has been stressful, living with roomates is never easy, but I love them to death =). One thing after the next, but that's life. Maybe out of the country? Spain, always wanted to go to Paris, or perhaps somewhere tropical like Hawaii? Hmm.. or maybe my home away from home, New Mexico. My family means the world to me, and they are the definition of what a family is. Decisions decisions.

- And January going on to February. Last month, I wanted to try something new doing something different out of the box for me each month. January, I cut my bangs which was a different look for me. This month, who knows what's in store.

Weight Watchers.

My goal this year is to loose 25- 30 pounds. I have a history of hypothyroid and I think I need a little more than excerise and what not. So instead if "dieting" I'm doing Weight Watchers! I'm pretty excited. My step Mom and Aunt did it and look amazing. I'm content with my body, but want to be more than content. I know I have meat on my bones *laughs* but I want to look forward to swimsuit season. I'm not one for that ideal body, but I'm looking to have a healthier lifestyle. This will be good for me, because it's something I'm going to work hard in acheiving at and I think it's something definitely worth doing if you're not happy with the way you look. For me I really don't see it as dieting, but watching what I eat and portians etc. So I'm ready!

Drafts.

Going through my blogs, I have a lot of drafts. Drafts that may or may not be posted, just because it someday may come and bite me in the ass. *Laughs* But going through them I smirked, because there's a story behind them all of me being mad and upset, or random and pointless thoughts, or something about my day. So sooner or later I'll have to finish what I started to write or let it be an old plain draft.

New Year.

Holy cow! It's 2010! Don't really have a new year's resolution, but... I'm going to try something different each month. Something so out of the ordinary for me personally, so I can look back and say omgawd I did that. So what's in store for January? I'm thinking, new year, new month, why not new hair?! So... I'm going to cut my hair. Not just any cut, but something I'm shocked to do. I've always had at least shoulder length hair. I'm nervous, but, hair is hair...

Paris & New York.

If there was an award for bargain shoppers, I'm pretty sure I' be in the top three. Everything in our home, the wall decor, the wall accent pieces, picture frames, the paintings etc... On sale. But I think the home is complete! About two months ago, there were these paintings of Paris and New York that I fell in love with. $130 EACH!! Not in my price range *laughs* but around Christmas time I was browsing online and saw them on sale for $39.99!!! I screamed I was that excited. So the next day I go ask them if they're in stock... nope. But one store did. They somehow lost them in the storage room, so they were both in the boxes! It was meant to be. So I bought them over the phone, and now my downstairs is complete with a little bit of Paris. Our bedroom though, has New York above our bed. One of my favorite cities right in our very own room! =)